The ‘Colonization’ of English Language

A slate is where we started our learning

The British have colonized most parts of the land and spread their English language to many parts of the world. They made it appear to everyone that it is great to speak English and live like the British did, which fortunately or unfortunately most colonized countries believed and followed. That learning English helped many people immensely (including this author) is not contestable at this point in time because even if some country wants to do without English or learning the same, it is just impossible now.

The Portuguese and Chinese have been able to save their languages from the onslaught of English. It is said that Chinese are proud of their language that seems to have survived more than 5,000 years. 

Indians for sure have embraced English language so well that some people feel it an offence to speak in their own native language. If two people from the same state met, even though they can speak in their mother tongue, they still prefer to speak in ‘stylish’ English. Regional TV channel shows which are supposed to be in vernacular language are done in English most of the times. Such is the influence of English on Indians. The same English language has enabled India and some Indians abroad to scale newer heights and establish them as forces to reckon with.

It appears from jokes that are shared on use of English language that some Indians in their heart of hearts nurture animosity on English and the British for having played havoc with Indian culture, ill-treating India and the freedom fighters during their colonial rule. Here are a few (may be most would have already heard of them on several platforms like FB, Whatsapp, etc.,) that leave us in splits every time we read them. At least for some people, it is one way of taking revenge on British who ruled us till the mid-19^th century.

Here they go as collated from various sources:

·          “Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-weak leave.”

·         From an employee who was performing the ‘mundan’ ceremony of his 10 year old son: “As I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days.”

·         Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter’s wedding: “As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave.”

·         “As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it please grant me 10 days leave.”

·         Half-day leave: “Since I have to go to the cremation ground at 10 o’clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave.”

·         “I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday”

·         A leave letter to Headmaster: “As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today.”

·         Another letter to Headmaster: “As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.”

·         Covering note: “I am enclosed herewith….”

·         “Dear Sir, With reference to the above, please refer to my bottom….”

·         “My wife is suffering from sickness and ass I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave.”

·         “I am well here and hope you are in the same well.”

Here are two latest encounters of mine that prompted me write this column

·         “I am unable to open your attachment for the last 7 days. Please attach yourself again.”

·         “As my office computer is in dismental condition, I am sending this mail from outside computer.”

Let all the British who were part of the colonial rule in India turn in their graves every time an Indian uses his/her ingenuity in the application of English words. It is definitely fun unlimited and never ending. We can laugh as many times as we could recollect such usage.

I am certain that my friends reading this will have innumerable such funny anecdotes where English language is used on different occasions. I encourage them to share those here in the comments for spreading some cheer to all.